A Guide to Shoplifting!

Since I started working at a grocery store, I have learned many techniques to shoplifting. I have learned some stuff by the mistakes made by several shoplifters, and others by experiment.

RULE 1 : NEVER NEVER NEVER try to steal something at a store you frequently shop at. That is just plain stupid. If you really want something bad enough, then spend a little gas money. Hey, its better than buying the product you are about to lift.

RULE 2 : Don’t act suspicious or nervous. Employees aren’t stupid. They know that if you are acting nervous, then you are usually up to something bad.

RULE 3 : Try to steal from stores without video surveillance. This is by far the safest way to do things.

RULE 4 : DO NOT be GREEDY! Take a little at a time. And take things that will fit in your pocket or purse. Bigger items are harder to get away with.

RULE 5 : Try not to hit the same stores over and over. Have some variety in your life. You will be less likely to be caught if you don’t frequently go to the same place.

RULE 6 : Do NOT be fooled by cameras with the name SVS. These are fakes! They do nothing but sit there. They look real by the way they have a cable going into a wall, and are plugged in and have a red light on, but they are still fake. GUARANTEED!

RULE 7 : Do NOT be stupid enough to steal around other shoppers. I have seen many instances where the employees never saw a person shoplift, but a customer had turned a shoplifter in, and the customers word is just as incriminating as the employees.

RULE 8 : Many times if someone sees you trying to shoplift, they will start following you around. Calmly place the stuff back on the shelf, any shelf! They really can’t get you as long as you haven’t walked by a register, and start walking out the door, because until you start walking out the door, you still could have intent to pay, and if they do pick you up for shoplifting before you walk out the door, your case most likely will not hold up in court.

Many lawyers have freed many shoplifters because of that. If they pick you up. Start telling them you haven’t had a chance to pay, and that they can not pick you up for shoplifting, until you have a chance to pay, or walk out the door! Just act like you know what you are talking about!

RULE 9 : When you start walking out the door and you see someone following you, then run for dear life. Most of the time you can get away. If you have a get-a-way car waiting, then be sure that the license plate is covered up. All it takes is for someone to write down the license plate number to get you caught.

RULE 10 : If by any chance you are caught trying to flee, try and wrestle your way out, but BE CAREFUL! Do not injure the person who is trying to catch you, let alone threaten them. If you just so happen to scratch them, the penalty goes from theft to Assault and Robbery, which means a bigger fine, or more time!

RULE 11 : Have someone waiting with bail money in case you get caught. *8-)

Now on to some ways to shoplift.

Method 1 : This is probably the easiest method. Get a friend of yours to go to a store with you. Have him/her act very very suspicious. When an employee sees someone acting suspicious the key in on that person. Soon they will have everyone in that store watching him/her. Then you go where ever the merchandise is, and steal away. You leave with whatever you wanted, and then your friend leaves soon after, feeling good that he/she has just fooled a store full of idiots.

Method 2 : If you are a woman, then get a big purse. Empty it out, and pick the lucky victim. This works good at places with shopping carts. Place your purse in the section where children sit. Usually located at the front of the basket. Have your purse open at this point. Go around the store looking at whatever you like. When you find the item, pick it up, look at it, and casually sit it down like you are putting it in the basket, but instead of putting it in the basket, put it in your purse.

Method 3 : Grocery stores are probably the easiest to hit. Most have low security if any. Only problem, is that most people think the only thing you can get at a grocery store is food. WRONG!! Go over to the more expensive area, HBA (Health & Beauty Aids).

There is gold there. Get everything from Advil to Obsession Cologne. You ask yourself, why do i need 80 boxes of Advil? Take one box for yourself, then go sell the rest to friends, or take the stuff to a Flea Market, set yourself up a booth, and sell away. Most boxes of Advil cost around $8-$10 each.

You sell for $5, and instant profit. But be careful in the HBA area, that is usually where the security will be, if any!. I have seen many stores, with out any cameras in the grocery area, but one camera in the ceiling in the HBA area. So just pick up the stuff, put it in the basket, carry it over to the grocery side, and take it!

Another good thing to take from grocery stores is cigarettes. A carton is getting close to $20 each. So take yourself a few, and sell to your friends/family for about $10-$15. Good profit there. Or if you are into that nasty habit, keep them for yourself.

Method 4 : Whenever you need to get film developed, or prescriptions filled, then take it to your favorite grocery store. After you get your prescription and/or film, tell the clerk that you are going to do some more shopping.

Walk around the store a little, then walk out the door. A good idea is to have a receipt from an old purchase. carry it in one hand, then carry the goods in the other. That way the look at you, see the receipt, and think that you payed for it.

Method 5 : A good way to get free fertilizer, top soil, etc., is to go by your favorite nursery or whoever carries the stuff outside. Give them a visit about 3 a.m. or so, and fill up your truck or car. The best way to do this is to have someone driving, while you fill it up. If someone comes out of the store (like a night stocker) and confronts you, jump in the back of the truck, and tell your friend to take off. Be sure to have you license plate covered up.

CONCLUSION : Stores today are not there for you. They are there for themselves. They may claim low prices, but in all truth the merchandise is usually marked up 200% or more. I have seen some instances where cologne has been marked up 450%. This is outrageous. Why should we pay those kind of prices, when we can get it for free!

Many stores may claim that shoplifting increases prices, although the real reasons for price increases is the Upper Division, who wants more added onto their 6 and 7 digit yearly salaries. So don’t be fooled by that stupid warning. And remember Robin Hood, steal from the rich (THEM) and give to the poor (YOU, even if you aren’t poor heh!).

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